Cancer patients often hesitate to find support in a community group or online support network. They may be scared, embarrassed, or skeptical of support groups. Yet, support is often what they most need. And research shows that support networks are valuable resources for both cancer patients and their families. Studies link support groups to improved mental and emotional health and a better quality of life.

As any group member will testify, support networks are not scary, embarrassing, dubious, or depressing. Support group meetings are likely to be full of joy and laughter, as people celebrate life together. Group members are real people with real struggles, who offer real support to one another. In the words of the Cancer Survivor Network, they “live life to the fullest, one day at a time.”

Community Support Networks

People are often surprised when they learn just how much support they have in their fight against cancer — support in the form of others who have been there before them. Cancer patients can find support in healthcare communities, churches, community centers, and even school classrooms. Hospice centers provide palliative support during the last months of life.

A recent study of breast cancer patients linked weekly support group meetings with an improved quality of life and even improved survival time. What works for breast cancer survivors can help people with melanoma, thyroid cancer, mesothelioma, and other illnesses. Even people facing the most unfavorable situations, such as going through mesothelioma treatment or late-stage prostate cancer surgery, can find encouragement, empowerment, and tips to deal with the treatments through community support networks.

Online Support Networks

Online support networks, like the “I Can Cope” cancer support group and the online cancer group at Inspire.com are excellent support systems for people affected by cancer. Through these American Cancer Society programs, cancer survivors celebrate life and uplift each other through blog articles, discussion boards, chat rooms, instant messaging, and other online communication.

Talking about the cancer experience with people who can appreciate the struggle is valuable during treatment and recovery. Online support groups give people with cancer a sense of belonging, as well as a place to share their feelings openly, honestly, and even anonymously if they choose. Writing about fears and frustrations, in blog posts and discussion forums, is also therapeutic practice. Putting pen to paper, so to speak, helps cancer patients better understand their situation so they can better cope with their disease.

Every person’s cancer struggle is different, and there is no right or wrong way to cope. A supportive relationship with doctors, friends, and family members is vital for any cancer patient. But the benefits of celebrating life with people who have fought the battle with cancer and survived are immeasurable and priceless.

By: David Haas

Today, April would have been 37 years old.  I took a walk through the woods with a friend to commemorate the occasion, which felt nice.

It’s strange to be moving on, past my grief into happiness with another woman – into another life that I’d never imagined when April was with us, or even just a year ago, when April was gone, but before I’d met Jill.

April never let cancer beat her.  She was positive and strong, with her head held high – to the very end.

The past 22 months since April’s death have been my struggle with living up to April’s standard of living.  It isn’t easy to not make excuses, to not feel sorry for myself, to not allow life’s valleys to detract from life’s peaks.

But I’m doing it.  Just as April wanted for me, I’m doing it.  Life, my friends, is good.

It’s my birthday wish for April that you are also living life to her standards – living with a smile through the valleys and the peaks alike, with a passion for shoes and creepy crawly things  (that was for you, April, where ever you are!), or whatever it is that floats your boat.

With much love for my friends and family, and warm wishes to all -

Mac

Hello, Friends -

I wanted to take a moment to tell you about my positive psychology coaching practice, which I’ve chosen as one of my main focuses as I continue to heal and grow well.

You haven’t heard from me in a while; it’s been over a year and a half since April passed, and a few months since my last post.

In the recent time, I’ve been working on business websites – specifically KnoxvilleBusiness.com and KnoxvilleJukebox.com.  Also, I’ve been learning about, and becoming more and more excited about, positive psychology.

Recently, I took my excitement about positive psychology to the next level, opening a positive psychology coaching practice at psychologypositive.com.

I’m writing to invite you to take a look at my site and let me know what you think.  If you have any questions about positive psych, please let me know.  I welcome the opportunity to talk with you about it.

With much love and appreciation for my friends and family, and those who visit my blog,

Mac Bartine

On Friday, August 20th, the hardest year of my life came to a close.  It’s difficult to believe that April has been gone for an entire year – a very, very long year.

It truly was a blessing that April and I had no idea how close she was to death in her last summer.  We had parties at April’s request, we worked (she was still employed full time by Pellissippi State up to the last Friday that she went in the hospital), and our struggles seemed ordinary in many ways.  It would have been so much harder if we had known that she was so close, if she had not been so tough and positive minded.

She didn’t believe the end had come until she heard it from the doctor’s mouth.  Up to that point – even when Dr. Gharavi told us that she was going through liver failure – she still thought that she was going to be returning to work in a few days.

As difficult as those two years during April’s diagnosis and battle with cancer were, they were a blessed time that I cherish and miss terribly.  I miss April so much.

But life goes on.  As we all know, life goes on.  We don’t have the choice to stop time and reverse to the days when our loved ones were still with us.  We can’t re-wind to say “I love you” one more time, or to do more special things for them to say with actions louder than words that they are loved.  We move forward.

Our year without April has been forward moving.  Babies have been born and conceived; houses have been re-modeled; a career in medicine has begun; business plans have been laid, and new friendships forged.  I can see paths before me that lead to new places and ways of life that I’d never before considered as a possibility.

This is as it should be.  It’s as April would want it to be.  She loved us – all of us.  And she would have been so pleased with each of our victories and treasured moments.

In closing, my dear ones, I offer you words that April would have said at this time, were she able.  Live well.  Have a party.  Eat some chocolate.  And smile to know that you are loved from this side and the next.

Mac

I was just looking through correspondence that April and I had in the last year before she passed.  Nothing significant; we wrote about groceries, trips to the doctor, trips to see friends, parties that April wanted to have over the summer.

It’s so easy to feel like April is just right around the corner, in the other room.  Even now, 8 months after she passed, it still feels that way.  And when I read her words, it makes that sensation even more real to me.

Here are some pics of the yard – almost everything that’s beautiful and colorful is there compliments of dear April.

As you can see, my yard has turned out beautifully this year – the best it’s been since April and I bought the house in 2003.  She really would have loved and enjoyed it; I like to think that she’s in and around the flowers and blooms, spring leaves and shoots – enjoying it all, and soaking it in.

I hope that your spring has been rejuvenating, full of new life and new joys. My love to all,

Mac

A few weeks ago, we had the luxury of spending a long weekend in the Grove Park Inn in Asheville, NC.  It was awesome!  We know many of you were thinking of us as we went on our merry way, and want you to know how much your gifts mean to us.  Just in case ‘it was awesome!’ doesn’t quite get the message across, we had a great time.  Thanks!

If you’d like to see a few pictures from our adventure in Asheville, here they are.

Much love, and may you keep on rockin’ the Casbah!

Mac & April

Hello, friends and family -

April and I are enjoying a beautiful spring in East Tennessee. This evening, our friend Mark Wells brought over his HUGE all terrain vehicle and a big chain, and we pulled over a bunch of small stumps in mine and April’s back yard.

If you think that sounds slightly crazy, and fun – you’d be correct on both points! Hehe.

We don’t have anything new to report, because we haven’t had enough time to let the chemo work, do the tests, and get the results. I imagine about this time next month, we’ll know something about the current drug.

In the mean time, April is still working full time. To me, that means that even though things aren’t perfect, she’s still doing pretty darn good.

We love all of you, think of you often!

Mac & April

To start off, is it just me, or is “April’s April Update” kind of catchy? And speaking of catching, spring green in East Tennessee just can’t be beat. Even in rain and crazy temperature swings, it’s a wonderful time and place to be alive. I hope you’re all enjoying your own little piece of spring, too.

April went to get her 3rd round of Adriamycin, but wasn’t able to receive the dose due to having low red and white blood cell counts. She’ll go back tomorrow morning to get a couple shots to bring her counts back up, and will meet with Dr. Gharavi also, to discuss the low counts. Our expectation is he’ll recommend she take the dose Friday or a week from today, when her counts are back up. That’ll be fine by us — more time for her to feel good in the midst of this beautiful season can’t be anything less than a blessing.

With much love to everyone,

Mac & April

Hi All – sorry it’s taken so long to share a new update. We’ve been a bit up in the air regarding April’s treatment and where it’s taking us. Here’s what we’ve learned:

1. Ixempra isn’t working, which means April needs to switch drugs. We know that because –

2. April’s tumor markers and tumor mass have both gone up since she started taking Ixempra. Roughly speaking, we’re back to where we started when April was first diagnosed.

3. Being back to where we started after 18 months is definitely considered “managed” disease. Would we rather she was already cured? Absolutely! Will we take “managed” as an alternative while we’re figuring out what’s going to work for her? Definitely.

4. April will start taking a variation of Doxil on Thursday. Doxil is the drug that put her in the hospital, but this variation is delivered to the body in a different way that isn’t known for having the side effects that were so hard on April last time.

So, in a nutshell, we’re still moving forward, still in a positive place, still looking for the right treatment for her. And, we’re still loving you guys very much and so very appreciative for each and every one of you, and how wonderfully loving, kind and giving you’ve been to us.

Love to all,

Mac & April

Cancer and calamities: move over, Rover, because the big (happy) dog’s moving in.

Psychology and “self-help” can both be a bit hit or miss.  But when psychology/philosophy/self-help does hit, it packs quite a wallop.  Case in point – I recently came upon this quote from Sir Thomas Brown, 17th century author and creative thinker:

“I am the happiest man alive. I have that in me that can convert poverty into riches, adversity into prosperity, and I am more invulnerable than Achilles; fortune hath not one place to hit me.”

I don’t want to give the impression that I’m intellectually diciplined enough to sit down with finely-aged philosophy over spot o’ tea; I got the above quote from an internet video lecture at Ted.com (I’m not sure if the internet has made us any smarter, but it certainly has made it easy to come across interesting and inspiring tidbits of information.).  Nonetheless, this quote says brilliantly what the modern lecturer in the Ted video says in 20 minutes: happiness is not achieved through wealth, health, good fortune or hard work.

This isn’t just some rah-rah guru psychobabble; it’s peer-reviewed research-proven, hard-wired-into-the-human-condition fact.

You don’t have to have extraordinary wealth – or any wealth at all – to have happiness: across populations around the world, those with average income and those with less-than average wages are statistically equal in happiness to the wealthiest people on the planet.

Likewise, you don’t have to have perfect health to have happiness.  Our beloved April is a grand example of this: she inspires me every day with her can-do approach to living happily and with optimism for the future, regardless of how cancer would have the rest of us think she should be feeling.  I know for a fact that she is not alone in her happiness during health travails; among just the relative few people who read and write on this blog, there are multiple people who have health problems, and have great happiness.

There’s no need for good fortune to shine down on and protect you night and day, 365 days a year for the rest of your life.  Statistically speaking, those who suffer great calamity are – three months later – no less happy than are you and I at this very moment – safe in our homes and offices.

Sir Thomas Brown’s passage is a bit like a prayer – a 17th-century affirmation, if you will:

“I am the happiest (wo)man alive. I have that in me that can convert poverty into riches, adversity into prosperity, and I am more invulnerable than Achilles; fortune hath not one place to hit me.”

Say these time-honored words of wisdom with feeling and understanding 10 times in a row when you’re down in the dumps.  I can’t do it without a smile on my face, and in my heart.

And so, our beloved friends and family, whether you call it prayer, worship and Divine Grace or simply the natural order of things, let yourself rest easy.  New money, returning health and unexpected good luck are but fleeting, shining moments that you can’t count on.  Excessive debt, disease and Murphy’s Law are also fleeting, and will not be your end, nor the end of your happiness.

When you think about it, you come to understand there really is nothing to fear.  Happiness will always return.

Know that you are loved, appreciated, and deserving of the happiness you’ll have this week, and thank you, as always, for your generous love and support.

Mac & April