I was thinking yesterday, as I luxuriated on someone else’s well-maintained boat (thanks again Sam, Brad & Ben!), about what April said to me regarding the possibility of being taken early by cancer.
I had been to see a licensed clinical social worker/counselor named Vicky Henderson (she’s absolutely wonderful) late the same afternoon that April and I had this conversation. April asked how it went, to which I responded that Vicky and I had discussed my feelings of anger and grief because April was so much younger than the average cancer patient.
“Well, I can tell you how I am dealing with it,” said April. “I look at my life from a biological perspective. Everyone is born to Earth, lives, and dies – without exception. So nothing has actually changed for me, Honey, except that my personal time line may be a little different than another person’s.
“Once I understood that really nothing had changed, I felt a lot more at peace about whatever my personal time line turns out to be.”
April’s love of living things and how they fit in our world was part of her strength in many difficult situations:
- Kids are restless and grumpy? ‘Have you ever seen a real, live salamander?’
- Don’t know what you’re looking at? ‘That’s a Hydrocybe Marginata mushroom! They only grow in Southern Appalachia.’
- Mourning for the imminent loss of your soulmate? ‘It’s among the most natural and common occurrences in life. Nothing has changed, Sugar.’
April applied her understanding of the natural world to so many varied and wonderful things, and she never shone so brightly as when she was learning something new or sharing a tidbit with someone she loved.
And so it was that as the boat motored past beautiful, green hills yesterday, I smiled at the thought that April is now part of the trees, air, earth and waters around us. She is the photosynthesis in my garden, the metabolic pathway in my cellular respiration – my omnipresent tie to the natural order of Heaven on Earth.
Thank you, my love, for the peace that comes with understanding.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Mac, that was absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I continue to be amazed at how much strength and wisdom April had.
Thanks, Jeanna – she was very special.
This story is so beautiful. April is very wise; her comments very Eastern in thought. Your feeling, seeing and understanding so profound. The Tao says “The valley spirit never dies; it is the woman, primal mother.” The valley nourishes all things. Rock on.
Love this Mac. Most people wouldn’t get this but I brought some of the flowers on Sunday home and when they wilted, I put them in our compost pile. April’s in our garden now too and Marcus and I both think that’s wonderful.
That’s flippin’ awesome, K!
:hug: Although I was never blessed to meet April in this mortal coil, I know she must be so proud of you, and the way you are cherishing her essence, love and zest for life!
:Namaste:
I return to this post as my father is being treated for cancer. His prognosis is not good. This post comforts me greatly. Thank you April & Mac.
I’m so glad that you’re comforted by a page from our story, Debra. Thanks for letting me know, and I’ll be thinking about you and your dad.